


joshua - in another life

by ourjisoos



Series: Seventeen Oneshots [7]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fate & Destiny, Fluff, Mentioned Im Nayeon, Multi, POV Second Person, Reincarnation, Sad, Unrequited Love, animal turned human, but it's cute ngl, hong jisoo as a cat, i dont know what i just wrote, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28051566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourjisoos/pseuds/ourjisoos
Summary: A cat who loves their owner, but not in the way you'd expect.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Everyone, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Original Female Character(s), Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Reader, SEVENTEEN Ensemble/Original Female Character(s), SEVENTEEN Ensemble/Reader
Series: Seventeen Oneshots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022815
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	joshua - in another life

The morning sun seeps through the white satin curtains.

I open my eyes and you are the first thing I see.

I always try to be the first one to awake and the last one to fall asleep so I can look at your face for as long as possible.

I love examining every single feature on your face while I listen to your soft breathing sounds.

You are the most beautiful sight I have every laid my eyes on.

I love you more than any words can express, you are my entire world.

I see you shift in your position and your eyelashes begin to flutter, making my heart run a million miles a minute.

You finally open your gorgeous eyes and lay your vision on me, a smile forming on your lips.

"Good morning Shua!" you say like you do every morning and give my head a gentle pat.

I come closer to you and snuggle into your chest but then you sit up leaving me cold and sulky.

"Sorry Shua, can't snuggle in bed with you today, it's going to be a busy day."

I sit and watch you inquisitively, listening to you list off every errand you have for the day.

"Oh and can't forget about that blind date I have later tonight"

_Blind date?_

"I honestly don't know how to feel about it. I mean, going on a date with someone without even meeting them first? But I guess it's worth a shot, right?"

I sat still not moving a muscle, a deep jealousy boiling in my heart.

But do I even have any right to feel this way?

"The world is complicated and confusing Shua, you don't have to worry about any of that though.

You're just a cat."

Your words stabbed me straight in the heart.

The painful truth I've been trying to avoid ever since you came into my life, or rather, when I came into yours.

The fact that you will never see me as an equal, much less anything more.

I am nothing but an animal to you.

You say you love me, but it will never be the love that I desire from you.

I've always wondered if there was something wrong with me, a cat shouldn't feel this way towards a human right?

"Oh, I better get ready, I have an appointment in an hour!"

I watched from the window your car as it pulled away from the driveway.

I guess I better keep myself occupied.

I was taking a nap on the couch when I was awoken by a faint scratching noise.

I go over to the dining room, where the sound seemed to be coming from.

I see behind the patio screen door a ginger cat scraping their claws on the netted surface.

"Hey, quit that!" I tell him.

"Hey bro, you've got to have a lifetime's worth of grub in here, care to share some?"

"Sorry, my owner has a lock on the food cabinet."

"Ugh, I hate when that happens!"

"Why are you here anyway? It's not really safe for a cat to be wandering the streets."

"What choice do I have? This is the stray life."

"So you've never had an owner before?"

"Of course I have, more than I can count. But of course, nobody cares for a scratched up old fella like me. They like the pristine, the untarnished, the spotless. A strapping young catch like you? Well people would pay a fortune to adopt you."

"Wait so you've had a lot of owners"

"Sure did"

"Um... have you ever... you know... loved one of them?"

"Well isn't that what we do as pets?"

"No not like that. I mean like... romantically."

"Bro what you talking about? Cats are cats and humans are humans, there's no attraction in that type of manner!"

"Oh"

So I am the only one.

"You telling me you have the hots for your owner?!"

"Yeah"

I wasn't sure if I should be ashamed or what.

"Well that's a tough situation you've put yourself in."

"I can't help it"

"How do you even know that's what you're feeling? Maybe you're just confused."

"My heart races when I see them, I feel butterflies in my stomach. Are cats even capable of feeling that?"

"Beats me, this is definitely a first."

"What am I going to do."

"The only way you'd ever have a chance is if you were born again as a human."

Born again...

As a human...

Yes, that is what I need to do.

That will be my life mission, and I will not rest until I fulfill it.  
  
  


You finally returned home, and like always, I was waiting for you on the bench next to the door where you'd sit to put on your shoes.

"Oh hey Shua" you said and rubbed my head.

I melted into your touch and took in as much of your scent as possible before you pulled away.

"Well I better go and get ready for my blind date, I'm supposed to meet him at seven"

Oh right... almost forgot about that.

I watch as you chose your outfit, did your hair, and apply your makeup.

"How do I look Shua?" you said turning to me.

Absolutely stunning.

I couldn't comprehend how impossibly more beautiful you got, and it made me feel even more jealous.

"Wish me luck! It's time to go meet Yoon Jeonghan."

Yoon Jeonghan...

You lucky guy.

While you were gone, I sat by the window the entire time.

I couldn't sleep or do anything else, I just wanted you to be at home with me and away from him.

You came back several hours later with a bouquet of flowers and a smile on your face.

"Look Shua, aren't these beautiful? Jeonghan seems like a really sweet guy, we're meeting again next week."

I guess it went well then.  
  
  


This Yoon Jeonghan is really getting on my nerves.

You used to tell me about how your day went, what your boss said to you, or how your coworkers are backstabbing each other. Now you just talk about him.

And even worse, he would join us for movie night, something that was supposed to be special just for us.

Whenever he's here I want to bite him so bad.

But what keeps me from doing that is how happy you look whenever he's around.

The expression on your face is not something I've seen before.

You look at him with a different expression than when you look at me.  
  
  


It's movie night again.

Something I used to look forward to I now dread, because it means Jeonghan will be here.

I sat on your lap and Jeonghan sat beside you.

The movie played for a while, and nothing particularly interesting happens.

But then something happens that sparks my interest, something I haven't seen before.

There are many rows of people, all dressed very formal.

Then music plays and everyone looks at a woman who begins walking down an aisle with her father next to her.

The woman is in a white dress with a train so long there's people constantly adjusting it behind her.

She makes it to the end of the aisle where a man and a priest are standing.

The priest says a few words, and then they say a few words.

"You may now kiss the bride."

The woman puts her hands in the man's.

And then he kisses her and everyone cheers.

"Ah don't you just love weddings?" you said.

"Yeah, marriage is a beautiful thing that ties two people together" said Jeonghan.

A blush creeps onto your face and you lay your head on his shoulder.

He smiles and then intertwines his hands with yours.

I suddenly feel like I'm losing time.  
  
  


"What do you mean you just have to go?!"

I heard you yelling by the doorway, you sounded furious.

"I-I'm sorry, we just can't be together."

"I can't believe this"

You pulled off the ring from your ring finger, the one he had given you days before.

"You didn't mean any of what you said did you?!"

"I meant every word" he said in a whisper.

"So why?" tears were pouring out of your eyes. I hated seeing you cry.

"I just... I'm really really sorry" he said with his head held down.

"Just go. I don't want to see you" you pointed to the door not looking at him.

He looked at you with a sad expression on his face and nodded.

I saw him stumble back and wince in pain for a brief second before regaining his composure and opening the front door.

He turned back for the last time and opened his mouth to say something but no words came out, you still did not face him.

A single tear fell from his eyes, he stepped outside and the door closed with a click.

You immediately turned to face the door and when you saw no sign of him, you took a deep breath and headed upstairs.

I followed you to your room and found you lying in bed and crying into your pillow.

I've never seen you so heartbroken.

I hopped onto your bed and laid my head next to yours, brushing against your cheek lightly with my tail.

You opened your eyes and brought me closer, hugging me tightly.

I snuggled into your warm embrace. I wish I could tell you that everything will be okay.

"Oh Shua... what am I going to do? I can't believe he would leave me like this, and without a good reason..."

"I loved him."

In this moment more than ever I wanted to be human.

Because I know that I can comfort you better than I am currently able to.

I don't care about anything else right now.

I just want you to be happy.  
  
  


I woke up and saw that you weren't beside me.

I looked all over the house for you, my panic increasing after each empty room.

Then I heard the engine of your car and immediately ran to the living room window sill.

I saw your car pull out of the driveway and fear clouded all rational thoughts.

Where are you going? Why are you leaving so suddenly in the morning? Are you abandoning me?

I slammed the window as hard as I could, and by some miracle the latch opened.

I ran out of the house without a second thought and chased your car.

I called out to you as loud as I could, but you didn't hear me.

I kept running and running until I could no longer keep up and your car was lost from my sight.

I fell to the ground, struggling to catch my breath.

If I was human I'd be able to keep up with you.

If I was human I'd let you tell me all your worries and know that I understood.

If I was human...

I was too exhausted now, I dragged myself to a grassy area where I was more hidden and fell into a deep sleep.  
  
  


"Sir. Sir are you alright?"

I opened my eyes and immediately noticed something was off.

Suddenly the world became a lot more colourful, and I'm seeing hues I've never seen in my life.

I look down, but I don't see my furry feline body...

I see a human body. A bare human body.

I screamed.

I then look up and see a man with a very wary expression on his face, but it soon turns to sympathy and he takes a few steps closer.

"Sir, you were sleeping in these bushes and you haven't any clothes on."

"W-what happened?" I ask.

"I'm not sure, but maybe we should go buy you some clothes."

I became aware of my nudity and my face grew hot. As a cat it felt completely normal, but now I feel completely exposed.

"Oh, I'm Junhui by the way, what's your name?"

"Shua"

"Shua?"

"J-Joshua"

That's a human name, right?

"Ah ok, let's go then!"

The kind man drove me to a retail store and told me to wait in the car.

A little while later he came out of the store holding a bag of clothes.

I put on the white long sleeve shirt and the black jeans, as well as a pair of comfy slippers.

"I wasn't sure what your shoe size was so I hope you don't mind" he said.

"Oh no, this is perfect."

"So, where is your address? I'll drive you home."

I knew you kept your address on my collar in case I got lost.

I felt around my neck but it wasn't there.

Then I looked to my wrist and saw the familiar band of fabric. I'm glad he didn't question that.

I read him the address written on my collar and he drove me home.

When we arrived, I stuffed the collar in my pant pocket, thanked him, and got out.

I stood in front of the house, still trying to get used to my limbs and new field of vision.

Everything looked much smaller from this height.

Then it hit me.

"How am I a human?!"

I was so confused, what on earth could have caused this to happen?

As I was frantic in my thoughts, a car pulled over in front of the house.

A man got out of the car and began walking towards the house. Our house.

"Hey! Who are you and what are you doing?" I said scaring him out of his wits.

"I-I'm just here to look after my friend's cat" he said backing away.

I took a good look at his face and realized I had seem him before.

"Ohhhh you're Wonwoo! Yeah you came over a few times before"

He looked beyond confused.

"Oh uh, I mean I've been told that you come here a lot."

I'm not sure if I salvaged the situation, but he just nodded and walked to the front door and took out the pair of spare keys you'd borrowed him.

Then I realized something.

He's here to look after your cat.

Which is me.

I frantically went over to him as he stepped inside the house.

"A-are you sure you heard correctly? I-I'm not sure if she even has a cat."

"Yeah I'm pretty sure, I've saw him when I came over."

I began to panic as searched room after room trying to find something that is not there.

"Shua? Where are you kitty?"

He walked back to the entrance and saw that the window was wide open.

"Oh no... did he escape through the window?" he said.

"Hm I guess so, welp no cat here see you!" I nudged him out the door.  
  
  


I went back to the house and walked into your bathroom.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I froze in place.

The face I saw was so unfamiliar, so foreign to me. I couldn't believe this was actually me.

I felt confused and a little bit scared, but masking all that was an uncontrollable excitement in my chest.

If I'm a human now that means...I can finally be with you.

Just then I heard the front door open.

I went over and saw you looking very distressed.

"No no! How did he get out? I thought I closed this window!"

Oh right, you think I'm missing.

I didn't like tricking you like this, but I had no choice but to let you go out and search around the neighbourhood.

While you were gone I got a little sleepy so I decided to take a nap on your bed.   
  
  


I woke up to your scream.

"Who are you?!"

Despite the situation, I couldn't help but smile at you. I'd missed you.

"You have five seconds to tell me who you are and what you're doing here!"

"W-wait! I can explain, I got lost and I thought this was my house and I saw it was empty s-so um"

You looked at me like I was insane.

"Wait, were you the one that let my cat escape?"

"N-no of course not! I don't even know what a cat is!"

You eyed me suspiciously.

"What's your name?"

"Joshua"

"Well then Joshua, I guess you better get a move on."

"Oh but...I don't have anywhere to go."

"But I thought you said you thought this was your house"

"Well I thought I had a house but turns out I don't."

"Any family or friends you could stay with?"

I shook my head.

You sighed. "Well, I guess I could let you stay here for a bit."

I smiled, "Thank you."  
  
  


You were making dinner and I watched you cook.

"Anything I can do to help?" I asked.

"Umm why don't you cut those carrots over there."

I went over to the carrots and picked up a knife. I've never used a knife before.

"This is fascinating!" I said as I chopped the carrots.

You looked at me with an amused expression.

"Ow!" I accidentally cut my hand.

"Hang on! I'll get the first aid."

While you were cleaning my wound, I couldn't help but stare at you. You were so beautiful.

You noticed me staring and raised an eyebrow at me.

"You're really pretty" I said.

You didn't say anything and went back to cooking after bandaging my hand.

I didn't know you were such a good cook.

"This is way better than cat food!" I exclaimed.

"You eat cat food?"

"Oh uh I accidentally ate it before, not the worst thing in world but it can't be compared to this."

You smiled a little.

"Thanks. My mom taught me how to cook, she owns a restaurant."

"Well maybe we could go there sometime, I want to taste more of this!"

"Sure."  
  
  


Soon it was time for bed, so I got ready with the supplies you had provided me and hopped into my usual spot next to you.

"Woah woah woah what do you think you're doing?" you ask.

"It's getting late, I should probably get to sleep."

"Not here!"

"Why n— oh"

I realized that I was no longer the fluffy white kitten that you adored so much. I was a full grown man that randomly showed up in your house.

"Come, I already prepared the guest room."

You led me to the spare bedroom where you placed a light blue duvet and some of your brother's old clothes when he used to live with you.

"Well... goodnight"

You were about to leave but I pulled you in for a hug which took you by surprise.

I breathed in your familiar scent that was a lot more subtle than I remember, I guess humans have a weaker sense of smell.

I quickly pulled away when I realized how creepy it must have seemed.

"S-sorry! I didn't—"

"It's okay, just get some rest" you smiled reassuringly and closed the door.

I fell back onto the bed and went over in my mind everything that happened.

"What am I going to do now?"  
  
  


I was awoken by sniffling sounds.

I checked the clock beside me and it was 12 am.

I followed the sounds and found that they were coming from your room.

I slowly opened the door and saw you sitting on your bed with tears in your eyes.

"A-are you okay?"

You noticed me and began wiping your tears away.

"I'm so sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No, it's fine. What's troubling you?"

"It's silly really..."

"I don't think it's silly if it makes you sad"

You looked me in the eyes before continuing.

"Well I think you already know... my cat ran away."

"Oh... I... I'm sorry."

You smiled slightly. "It's fine. I just thought that he was happy here, I guess he wanted to find a better place."

"No! Don't... don't think that. I'm sure he was really happy."

You nodded. "Perhaps. He was a really great cat, he had this special aura that was always comforting. This sounds crazy, but you have a similar aura to him."  
  
  


The weeks went by quickly.

Everyday was a satisfying day because I could spend it with you.

I even got a job as a custodian at the school you taught at.

Going to work with you every morning, coming home and making dinner with you every evening, talking for hours before going to sleep.

Everything felt so unreal, I've never felt so happy in my life.

But one question still remains. How did this happen?

The longer this was left unanswered, the more I feared that I would one day wake up and find that this was all just a dream.

"Let's go somewhere."

"Hm? Where do you want to go?"

"Let's go on a trip. You said you've always wanted to go to Japan, so let's go."

I don't know why, but I felt like I was losing time.

We arrived at our hotel in Kyoto. It was decorated nicely with two beds next to each other.

You immediately laid on one of the beds.

"Ah this is so nice! I can't believe we're finally in Japan!"

I smiled, "C'mon let's go explore the city!"

We walked the streets of Kyoto, from the modernized downtown to the more traditional rural neighborhoods.

You used to watch travel shows about Japan, but everything looked more beautiful in person.

"Joshua, there's a street photographer here. Let's ask him to take our picture!"

"Okay!"

We took a few photos in front of the cherry blossom trees that were in full bloom.

We thanked the photographer and left with our printed photos.

"Spring time is the best" you said as you sat on a bench and admired the flowering trees.

I nodded and took a seat next to you.

Just then a flower petal landed in your hair. I reached out to take it and you turned to me as I did.

I saw light tint appear on your cheeks and I blushed as well.

"Thank you" you said.

"Oh it's no problem"

"I mean for everything."

"What do you mean?"

"I really needed this trip, my life's been all over the place lately. I would've never thought to take a break if you hadn't suggested it."

I looked down.

"I want to remember this trip, it's very special to me... like you are"

I jolted my eyes to you at those words, I hadn't expected you to say that.

You then looked away shyly, but I kept my eyes on you.

I cautiously cupped your face in my hands.

I searched your eyes for any hint of doubt, and when I couldn't find any I gained the confidence I needed for what I was about to do.

I slowly started leaning in, constantly analyzing your expression in case you changed your mind.

Eventually there was so little space between us that we could feel each other's breath.

My heart was racing and my hand were shaking, I was so nervous.

And then to my surprise you closed the gap between us, pressing your soft lips on mine.

My body felt numb, the feeling I had was so euphoric and surreal.

Of course I have dreamed about this many times, but now that it was happening in real life, I almost couldn't believe it.

Slowly we pulled away, cheeks red and looking into each other's eyes.

And I fell even deeper in love with you.   
  


Night had fallen, and we were both asleep in our hotel room.

Well, you were at least.

I had too much on my mind. I was thinking about what would become of us, if this could really happen.

Just then I heard a pecking on our window.

I pulled back the curtain and saw a raven.

A gut feeling told me to follow it, so I did.

I got out of the hotel and the raven was waiting for me, I followed it to a closed off area that was surrounded by trees.

"You have good intuition"

The raven perched on the shoulder of a woman with specs dressed in peculiar clothing.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"You can call me Nayeon, I'm a witch."

"But I thought witches only existed in fairytales, they aren't real."

"How else do you think you became human?"

"So you changed me?"

"Yes but—"

"Oh thank you thank you thank you" I said and hugged her.

"Woah there cat boy, don't get too excited. You can't stay a human anymore, you have to change back."

I felt my heart shatter. "What? Why?"

"Here's the thing, it seems I have made an error in my foresight and well, put simply this is not your fate."

"My fate?"

She nodded. "You're not a human in this life, you're a cat."

"No-no I...I will not change back!"

"If you don't, there will be serious consequences. You will hurt yourself even more."

"I...I don't care. My life as a cat is no life worth living. It's more miserable than death."

"Joshua..."

"I've made my decision Nayeon, I wish to remain human."

She sighed. "If that is your decision then there's nothing I can do. But know that those who go against fate will eventually be harmed by it."

We had returned from Japan and life went on mostly the same.

But there was no doubt that something in our relationship had shifted.

And I couldn't be more delighted.

It was Sunday, and you were busy in the kitchen.

"What are you cooking?" I said as I hugged you from behind.

You were slightly startled by it but eventually I felt you relax.

"Pancakes, they're almost ready."

"Looks good."

I rested my head on your shoulder and gave your neck a gentle peck.

You gasped and looked at me, your face instantly becoming red.

"J-just go take a seat, okay?"

"Okay~"

I sat down and you brought over the piping hot pancakes.

"I'm going to the hospital today."

"What why? Are you sick?" I grabbed your face and examined it.

"No I'm not sick" you pulled away quickly. "I'm visiting my father, he just had a surgery so I thought I'd see how he was doing."

"Oh... can I come to?"

"Uh s-sure"

I'd never been to a human hospital before.

It was so big and there were so many windows and statues and modern art.

We went up to the fifth floor.

"Is this where your father is?"

"Yeah just wait here, I'm going to speak to the nurse first."

I sat waited for what felt like forever, so I thought I would do some exploring and check out the rest of the building.

Everything was so clean and pristine.

I saw a long hallway with a sign above.

"ICU? Huh I wonder what that is."

I walked down the hallway and passed by many patient rooms.

Some were empty, some had nurses, some had family visiting.

But one room had caught my eye.

Out of the small crack in the door I saw a face I didn't expect to see.

"Yoon Jeonghan?" I said as I peeked my head through the door.

When I didn't get a response I thought I must've got the wrong person.

It looked like him, the features look like him. But he looked so pale and so weak, skin and bones, no energy, no life in his eyes.

I came a little closer and called out to him once again.

"Jeonghan?" 

He finally shifted his eyes onto me. They looked tired and dazed.

"What happened to you?"

He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. I stopped him, I didn't want him to waste his energy.

"No no don't speak it's okay. It's just... you look so different from when I last saw you."

I saw the confusion in his eyes. That's right, he doesn't know who I am.

"You loved someone. You were with her for three years, and then you proposed to her. I know this because I'm her cat."

His eyes widened slightly, I could tell he was shocked.

"But then... you left her... so suddenly... and without telling her why."

I saw a tear fall from his eye.

"Is this the reason why? You didn't want to hurt her?"

He nodded slowly as more tears fell from his eyes. 

He truly does love her.

"How is she?" he said almost inaudibly.

"She is well. You don't have to worry."

I saw the corners of his lips lift ever so slightly and he nodded.

"Actually she's here right now, do you want to see her?"

His face immediately fell and he shook his head no.

"Oh okay then."

I walked back to the door and turned to him one last time.

"Goodbye, Jeonghan" I smiled at him. "I'll visit you again."

He smiled and nodded.

"Where have you been?" you said.

"Oh just walking around."

"Oh okay" you grabbed a chair and sat next to your father who was sleeping soundly. "They said the surgery went well, I'm glad everything can go back to normal now."

We got to the main floor and left the hospital.

I suddenly grabbed your hand.

"Joshua? What's wrong?"

"Do I...do I make you happy?"

"Yes of course" you said blushing.

"Then... let's be together, for real."

Since that day, everything has changed.

I could hold you, and kiss you, and sleep next to you at night.

But one thing was still bothering me, that you didn't know my true identity.

In a way I felt like I was deceiving you, but I mean, who I was doesn't really matter in the end right?

I had learned to control my animal tendencies.

Like wanting to chase after birds, buying loads of fish at the supermarket, and being completely mesmerized by anything with bells on it.

I thought I could really live a normal life with you. 

I started thinking about the future we could have together, our marriage, and then even having a family.

I was finally hopeful that everything will work out.

In the blink of an eye an entire year has gone by.

We were both doing well in our jobs, and I even got promoted to head caretaker.

Nothing out of the ordinary had happened, nothing that caused concern, no warning signs.

So I thought it would be safe to finally do this.

I was just finishing up with my shift before I could sign out for the day.

I gathered all my things, everything, and headed over to your classroom.

"Hey" I said peeking my head into the empty classroom. 

I saw you sitting at your desk rummaging through your materials.

I guess you were getting ready to leave as well.

"Oh hi Joshua" you said smiling.

"Hello." I was feeling especially nervous today, my anxiety has been eating me up the entire day and only amplified whenever I crossed paths with you in the hallway. "Do you have any other plans for today?"

"No, I'll just be staying home, what's up?"

"Do you want to go to the lake?"

There was a lovely, serene little lake within walking distance of our house. 

We arrived and there was no other people, only us. 

The sun was just beginning to set, creating a warm and comforting atmosphere. It was perfect.

"So why'd you want to come here?" you said as we walked along the smooth stone path.

"You'll see, let's just walk a bit more." There was a certain place I wanted to go to, but I guess I was also trying to buy myself time, and to calm my nerves.

We finally made it to the peak, the center of the worn stone bridge lined with artistic carvings.

From here you could see the entire area and a great view of the sunset.

I stopped and put my hand in my pocket, grasping the hard rectangular object tightly.

I could see your expression of anticipation in my peripheral. I was really going to do this.

I took a deep breath and looked into your eyes.

I had intended to land on my knees anyway but my legs gave way and I kneeled a little too quickly.

The shocked expression you had made me even more nervous.

I grabbed your hand, kissed it, and held it to my chest.

"I know this is very sudden, and I'm not sure if this is the best time, but I just need to know."

...

"I love you, so much that I'd be willing to risk everything. I've never been unsure on how I felt about you, I love you more than I love anything else in this world. So even if this is a huge risk, I still need to know... will you marry me?"

You stood there frozen, your eyes wide. 

Enough time had passed that I thought I'd been rejected, but slowly a smile started to form on your face.

"Y-yes."

That one word was all I needed to hear. Tears started forming in my eyes, and you wiped them with your thumb as they began to fall.

I gently removed the shining silver ring from it's place in the velvet lined box, feeling elated that I was given the chance to do this.

I took your hand once again and slid the silver band onto your ring finger.

I stood up and watched as you examined it while trying to hold back your own tears.

You looked up at me and instantly closed the gap between us, capturing my lips in a love filled kiss. 

But at the contact, something felt worryingly off.

I didn't feel the warmth and tenderness that I normally felt. Instead it felt cold and distant, painful even.

I pulled back quickly.

"What's wr—" you gasped. "Joshua... w-what's happening to your arm?"

I looked down and saw that my forearms had lost their colour, they almost looked like they were fading.

"I...I don't know... exactly. But, I have an idea."

It was finally time to tell you. If I didn't now I would never get the chance to.

"Joshua what are you talking ab—"

I pulled out the item from my pocket that would undeniably prove my identity and held it up in front of you.

I kept it with me all this time, I felt like it was the thing that kept me grounded, that reminded me who I was even though I was trying to forget. 

I was planning on getting rid of it after I told you, and then we could go on and live our lives. But it looks like things won't go exactly as planned.

You stared at the collar in my hand. The one with a dangling pendant that had engraved on it your address and the name 'Shua'.

"I-I don't understand, are you telling me... that y-you're..."

I nodded my head and smiled sadly.

"B-but how... why didn't you tell me before?"

"I thought I could rid myself of that identity once and for all, but it looks like fate is not forgiving."

By now everything up to my torso was nothing but a silhouette. 

Tears were falling down your face and I wiped them away with my hand, even though I could barely feel you.

"I'm sorry, I have caused you even more pain."

Just as the remainder of my body dematerialized you rushed in and pulled me into a hug, only to be met with a ghostly chill.

"I'm so, so sorry" I whispered before a blinding white light took over my human form which caused you to stand back and wince from the brightness.

And when you opened your eyes again you were met with a white cat that looked at you curiously.

You sat on your knees and held the cat close to you, letting your tears fall onto its snowy white fur.

Endless sobs escaping your throat, it was a painful sound to hear.

Once your eyes have been drained of its tears you set down the cat and looked into its deep hazel eyes.

"Shua..."

The cat got to it's feet and began walking away. You got up and followed it, wanting to see where it was going.

The cat turned and looked at you, and from its eyes you understood all at once.

You nodded, the corners of your lips lifting ever so slightly.

"Goodbye, Shua."

You watched as the cat went over the grassy hill and disappeared into the sunset.

I'm sorry it had to be this way, I should have listened, I should have obliged before it got too far.

Because you cannot escape your fate, no matter how hard you try.

And although I could have stayed, I knew it would only bring more pain. Because now I knew what it was like, and not ever being able to have it, I don't think I could live with that.

Maybe we are out of luck this time, but let's hope to meet again, in another life.

And when we do we can finally be free from all obstacles.

We just have to be patient.

-??? POV-

Finally I was finished with my last class for the day. I wonder why no one ever warned us about the drastic increase of workload we'd get in university.

"Want to study with me in the library?" said a voice from behind me.

"Ah I'd love to Jeonghan, but I have volunteer work at the animal shelter. Maybe next time?"

"Oh...okay."

I made my way to the animal shelter that was near our school.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Jung! I'm here for my shift."

"Ah good afternoon, we have a volunteer coming today."

"Really? That's great!" The animal shelter was always short of volunteers, it was a great celebration whenever someone new joined.

"Yup! I'll be heading out to buy some supplies, when the volunteer gets here you can assign him with a task on the list."

"What should I do first?"

"Why don't you go ahead and start feeding the kitties?"

"Sure! I'll get on that."

I was filling the food bowls when I heard the chime of the front door.

A boy walked in. His eyes searched around the shelter.

"Hi there, can I help you?" I asked him.

"Oh um, I applied to be a volunteer, is the manager here?" 

"She just went out to get some stuff, why don't you help me feed the rest of the cats over here?"

"Okay" he smiled and grabbed a bag of food.

I was amazed at how good he was with the cats.

Even the super aggressive cats that I had been scratched by several times he had no trouble at all dealing with.

"Wow, I've been with him for weeks and I can't even get near him without being shred into pieces. Are you some kind of cat whisperer?"

He chuckled, "I'm not sure, I guess I'm just somehow able to handle him."

"That's pretty amazing. Oh right, I forgot to ask your name."

He smiled at me with his gentle eyes, "I'm Joshua."

-

This is Shua by the way :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hehe I don't know what the hell I just wrote


End file.
